I'm going to tell it like it is. Please indulge me. For many years I have been concerned about the rising "trend" of sarcasm, particularly done in a smutty way, in our television and movies. In addition, the mean talk, the children being used as targets to teach other children how to back-talk to and disrespect their parents, the violence, the blatant sex, and exponential immoral innuendos. The problem is not that it exists, but that it is growing. As if we're a bunch of "dumb bunnies" who know Nothing of what's going on here! The sad thing is many don't. Those of us who are not LDS may or may not have the knowledge or inclination to view these things the way I do. However, what bothers me is the many LDS who do and continue to endorse this kind of so-called, "Entertainment." I am asking that we be better than this! That we truly mark what we spend our time on with our friends or our spouses, especially our children, to that of the covenants we make in the Temple.
My August 2013 Ensign just came today. I was so grateful when I read on the cover, "What about Sarcasm? p. 34." In the article, Jennifer Jones records, "The Greek root for sarcasm is sarkazein and means “to tear flesh like dogs.”1 One dictionary defines sarcasm as irony designed to “give pain.”2 I see so much of this in the media. Why do we think it's "funny??" To tear at people's hearts & put them down is FUNNY?? "Sarcasm has many uses in our communication: it can convey aggression and insult,3 it can be used to dominate others,4 and it can communicate contempt and anger.5 Not all sarcasm is intentionally sinister, but it has a hypocritical edge because it requires us to say the opposite of what we mean. Some use it for humor, but it often damages our relationships because it leaves our friends and family doubting our sincerity and confused by what we say."
She goes on to say that our ways should be to minister grace, not criticism as President Hinckley points out. He even suggests that this kind of talk leads to divorce and much often failure, and that we should seek out opportunities DAILY to compliment . . . VIRTUE and EFFORT.
Sarcasm leads to a putting down of the innocence and pure in heart intentions in-bread within us; the godlike spark of light that we came to earth with. People who use this kind of communication think their suspects are, essentially, STUPID, especially when they do not "get it" or understand. In many cases, that is the point. "People who use sarcasm often think their targets are too sensitive or naïve when feelings get hurt.7 In more disturbing cases, sarcasm communicates contempt for others and gives people the “dishonest opportunity to wound without looking like they’re wounding.”8 But the Lord has fortunately decreed and promised, "aFools bmock, but they shall mourn; and my grace is sufficient for the meek, that they shall take no advantage of your weakness." (Ether 12:26) When someone is sarcastic with me or does not really think about what they are saying I think of this! And have faith as events unfold to expose their weakness.
For really, in all reality, their sarcasm is simply a manifestation of D&C 121: 39 "We have learned by sad experience that it is the
36 That the a rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be b controlled nor handled only upon the c principles of righteousness."
Let me just say some of the things we go thru in this life are very personal and more painful than people may realize. It behooves us, therefore, to be extremely sensitive (not to mention COMPASSIONATE) in our communications with one another. And by communication, I do not solely include use of words. A double edged sword is the result of intent. When an innocent bystander gets caught up in a web of words (i.e. ~ cyberbullying—the use of technology such as cell phones, computers, social media, and websites to humiliate another person) it is bad enough, but add pic's and other means and it is truly disheartening and shattering to play the victim. However, as Elder Boyd K. Packer once explained in his talk, "The Balm of Gilead," he points out, "It is painful to be the victim. But have you not yet learned how much more painful it is to be the offender?" So, I have often exhibited great patience, love, and understanding to one who has hurt in an effort to heal. In paraphrasing President Benson in his, "Satan's Thrust: Youth," The critical and complaining FRIEND will be less effective than the interested and understanding. And love and understanding are only effective when they are genuine. And to be genuine they must be motivated by love. We must love our FRIENDS (and enemies), whether they are in righteousness or in error. In this way we can give them a chance to discern and to learn. But we must also give them a fair choice. Today many are not succeeding."
I believe it is our call as well as our duty to lift each other to higher ground. And we can do so by not endorsing the unwholesome and subtly threatening ideas that are permeating and bombarding society. By continuing to patronize such media exploitations we really are calling "evil good and good evil" and allowing darkness to spread and even be present. More from President Benson's talk reveals the true intent behind this, "We live in a wicked world. Never in our memory have the forces of evil been arrayed in such deadly formation. The devil is well organized. Never in our day has he had so many emissaries working for him. Through his many agents, his satanic majesty has proclaimed his intentions to destroy one whole generation of our choice young people." Living in this world we are given the choice to choose between good and evil. Sometimes we think we are supporting good, but how can we be when are not then shunning other things we really should? Do we really stop to truly think about what we are watching?!
This is nothing short of simple mediocrity. We should stand up more for our values, for Christ's values! By simply choosing to have a dinner party or a night out to view this stuff (you know is wrong), you are giving more money to the making of it and helping spread it other people! We learn so much by the power of example (subconsciously and consciously), why spend it viewing those who do not set forth a good one? A strong principle in learning to play an instrument well is that he/she spend a lot of time listening ~ passive listening. Certain teachers believe a student learns best with at least 8 hours or more of pure background noise! If students can increase their skills dramatically by simply having the music on in their sleep, for instance, imagine what we could take in with our eyes. And again, as President Benson points out, "Most of these heroes that are being glamorized today are no longer noble, accomplished, humble, or righteous. From reports in books, magazines, and newspapers—especially the youth sections—we learn that they are lewd, obscene, immoral, avaricious, and in some cases even cruel. It is the very life-style we are here to avoid that is paraded before our young people by their celebrated peers. "
Why are we continually disregarding our own consciences and this sound counsel? Although I advocate and even encourage artistic expression of every kind I cannot help but note what President Benson also says here (and what someone else's intent is), "Never has the Church had a finer group of young people. They are choice spirits—sent to earth in this most challenging and important period of the world. Charged with the great responsibility of building up the kingdom of God on earth, they have an awesome challenge.
"This great and momentous responsibility and challenge comes at a most difficult time. Never have the forces of evil been so insidious, widespread, and enticing. Everywhere there seems to be a cheapening, weakening, downgrading of all that is fine, good, and uplifting—all aimed at our youth while many of their parents are lulled away into a false security as they enjoy their comfortable complacency." In Sheri Dew's talk on "Motherhood" she reveals, "Elder Matthew Cowley of the Quorum of the Twelve taught that “men have to have something given to them [in mortality] to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. [They] are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls . . . and the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children” (Matthew Cowley Speaks, 109)." So as I declare in the words of Shakespeare, "To thyself be true," and let thy neighbor be warned (D&C 38:41-42). Yeah, "go ye out from among the wicked" by turning it off and replacing it with something else that's good!
In a good lite . . . I had a wonderful day today enjoying the breezy blue weather as I drove up to my cello/bass stu's house. After giving him a most fulfilling lesson, he creamed me at chess! This taught me two things: 1) these stu's are very smart (& capable) 2) I have a lot of years on them playing an instrument and need to remember this as they "learn the rules."
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| Grand Hotel Lobby Mackinaw Island, Michigan |
Recently I've had the awesome privilege of contacting 100's of midwifery, doula, premie, and children's hospitals/centers, etc. across the globe. The Internet makes that possible. This is some of the wonderful feedback I've received:
